In 2002 he and Jane Ebert discovered that people were usually happier with decisions that they could not change because they concentrated on the positive aspects. When thinking about reversible decisions they were more objective. The finding, he said, suggested that marriage could prompt love, so he proposed to his girlfriend: “She said yes, and it turned out that the data were right: I love my wife more than I loved my girlfriend.

We have no control over our feelings. We can guide them, but really we’re just sit in messy biological machines, and we’re along for the ride.

Of course you can positively influence your happiness, but you have to understand what will affect it first.

I also like this quote as it confirms my believe that even though we think that modern lifestyles and contraception allow us to find our “one true love”, really a good marriage with a suitably minded partner would make you happier.

There’s a lot to be said for irreversible commitment. In a way it’s a shame divorce is so easy. Go out there, find a partner who is nice, kind, thoughtful and tolerant. Marry them. If they (you both ideally!) have all those qualities you won’t want a divorce. It seems to me, most divorces seem to be caused by intolerance and lack of compromise.

But thinking about that makes me reason that much divorce is due to lack of relationship experience, lack of social know-how. Which goes against what I just said about modern lifestyles. I guess, get lots of experience, but don’t be too obsessed with finding the “one”, nobody is perfect. Getting on really well is about all that’s required in my humble opinion. As long as you enjoy each other’s company, what on earth else are you looking for? Discuss.

Source.