What I learnt this year.

Personal

I learnt that people are the most important thing in life. I’ve always known this. But it took me a while to realise that I can’t rest on my laurels everytime I get with a girl. Relationships with people must be nurtured and cared for. Fostered, loved and respected. Be good to people, forgive them. Honour them. Be tolerant of their flaws, because nobody is perfect, and everyone has something to offer.

I learnt that you can’t tell another person what is wrong with them as defence when they are telling you what is wrong with you. There’s a time and a place for that, and it’s not a valid defence, no matter how baseless their attack. It just makes you look worse and unable to defend your actions, or unable to apologise.

I learnt that happiness is not that hard to obtain. Life is amazing, and there’s something around every corner to laugh about and to learn from.

Work

I learnt that working in a team is a lot easier and more productive when you are together in the same room.

I learnt that working in a team is a lot harder and less productive when you are together in the same room.

Love

I learnt that love is blind.

I learnt that people are rarely open with you until you are intimate with them. And even then they hide as much as they can.

I learnt that love is a beautiful thing, and that you can’t relax in a relationship, you have to try, and try, and keep giving the whole time. Don’t ruin something that can be wonderful.

I learnt that relationships are about compromise, and a person who will not compromise back, or does not understand that everything is two way is absolutely bad news, no matter how great they make you feel.

I learnt that women are amazingly complex, and it’s amazing that any man is good enough.

And…

I learnt that life isn’t easy, but if you make the most of it, and stay cheerful, and talk to people, and try hard; every day is rewarding.

In 2002 he and Jane Ebert discovered that people were usually happier with decisions that they could not change because they concentrated on the positive aspects. When thinking about reversible decisions they were more objective. The finding, he said, suggested that marriage could prompt love, so he proposed to his girlfriend: “She said yes, and it turned out that the data were right: I love my wife more than I loved my girlfriend.

We have no control over our feelings. We can guide them, but really we’re just sit in messy biological machines, and we’re along for the ride.

Of course you can positively influence your happiness, but you have to understand what will affect it first.

I also like this quote as it confirms my believe that even though we think that modern lifestyles and contraception allow us to find our “one true love”, really a good marriage with a suitably minded partner would make you happier.

There’s a lot to be said for irreversible commitment. In a way it’s a shame divorce is so easy. Go out there, find a partner who is nice, kind, thoughtful and tolerant. Marry them. If they (you both ideally!) have all those qualities you won’t want a divorce. It seems to me, most divorces seem to be caused by intolerance and lack of compromise.

But thinking about that makes me reason that much divorce is due to lack of relationship experience, lack of social know-how. Which goes against what I just said about modern lifestyles. I guess, get lots of experience, but don’t be too obsessed with finding the “one”, nobody is perfect. Getting on really well is about all that’s required in my humble opinion. As long as you enjoy each other’s company, what on earth else are you looking for? Discuss.

Source.

A young woman’s love is a precious thing. Do not squander it, should you be lucky enough to receive it. She will dedicate herself to you, adore you, imitate you, love you, unconditionally. It only lasts a time, enjoy it while it does, it may never happen to you again. But whatever you do, nurture it. Love her back, with all your being. Make her feel wonderful, respected, adored. She deserves it.

If you do these things, she will reward you, with love, and faith, and respect, and so much more. You will walk higher than all other men. You will be part of something more beautiful than all of man’s creations. Share your experiences with her. Be her other half.